Either at work or laying in
my bed.
Thoughts of regret insistent in my head.
Trying to be happy is a hard
trek to tread.
Smile on the outside hiding
the dread.
Is the best behind me?
Have I been all I can be?
Failing to prosper haunting
me.
No gods to listen, me they
don't see.
Thinking of the noose
hanging from the tree.
Pondering silently or
screaming out loud.
Never admit it, thinking I'm
too proud.
Always there screaming or
whispering mild.
Cover my face with the
blanket, pretend it's a shroud.
Thank heavens I don't own a
gun.
No way to change things,
nowhere to run.
Not making a joke here, not
casting a pun.
Sucking the barrel would be
way too fun.
Wearing shame as a coat,
expecting the shun.
Then the phone began to
ring!
Because she needs me my
heart began to sing.
Could this change everything?
A new life it could bring.
Oh, thank heavens I avoided
the sling!
end
In My Shoes
Our life is on the edge of being changed,
revamped, rebuilt, and rearranged.
Only for the good this can happen,
her life and mine overlappin'!
Turned to me and said,"I'm alone;as are you,
pleasing all else,for this we go through?"
"It matters not what they may think.
our happiness, fulfillment is on th'
brink."
I agreed and for this I chance the change
is it responsible our love estranged?
I say, "No! It is my life to choose,
you'd do the same,walking in my shoes!"
Who could it hurt,who could it destroy?
Been there;done that. I'm not a boy.
I've turned into my lover a dear friend,
I once again feel alive! May it never end!I
Sweet Determination
I lay in the bed holding your pillow and think of
our nights.
I see light at the end of our tunnels and it is
white,bright!
So, there is hope, and your Hope agrees!
Making our choices easy as a summer breeze.
I know my poetry may not be your thing,
But my soul and heart just has to sing!
To express happiness again is so unexpected.
I don't
care if it is discovered or even suspected.
I will
only live once upon this Earth.
The chance
to again love gives me a rebirth!
Come with
me, here is my heart;take my hand,
We'll make them all envious when they understand.
In the end labels and barriers are all for the
fool.
They will wish they were us and won't that be
cool!
Her
Her blue eyes were the pools
in which my love reflected
Her soft clean blond hair
was of an angel, I suspected.
Her face so beautiful and
serene,
Her skin so soft and clean.
Her nape a tender sweet
confection,
Her delicate lobes a
concavement of perfection.
Her smooth, red lips craving
interaction,
Her breasts mounds of firm,
soft attraction.
Her perfect tummy punctuated
with a tiny button,
Her rising mound a succulent bauble for the glutton.
Her natural blond was a
hidden secret,
Her long thin legs I'll
never forget.
Her tiny kissable feet,
Her hands soft and discreet.
Her love is more than I can
stand,
Her every wish is my
command!
Living Life
You see, when it came I came
alive!
Again my life was filled
with emotion.
The adventure gave rise to
thrive
Toward that giddy heartbeat
of commotion.
To feel the hope of a new
love at my age,
Drove me to a persistent preoccupation.
In my life I was turning a
positive page,
Giving me another chance to
feel elation!
Experiencing the new
emotions was great,
To have love stuff to share
anew everyday.
Awakening excited to love
prospects and anticipate,
That soft sweetness of
desire she gave my way.
Settling together caused
other emotions, a new feeling,
A couple must learn to live
with the other and let live.
This type of emotion of hurt
and healing,
Is knowing when to take and
when to give.
Yet, all things must come to
an end as did this,
Now my emotions are of the
wearily estranged.
Even with my heart strained
and my logic amiss,
I am alive! Not a second would I have changed!
end
All Used Up
Through those months my
emotions were all screwy,
I felt alive and my heart
beat! I knew what we needed to do. We
Needed to get together fast and give it a real shot.
We were both alone
concerning matters of the heart.
The Idea had real value and
vigar, so why not?
We both thought it would
turn out successful from the start.
We both planned to try to
learn to love again, see?
We planned a positive note
to be as happy as can be!
We came together found that
we could probibly love,
But complications of life
got in the way...
Our values were conflicted,
vim went to push comes to shove,
Misconceptions of each other became tears at
the end of the day.
After awhile, with a sigh
she opted to return to her old life,
The knowledge that she's gone
can still pierces me like a knife!
In our empty apartment I
rattle around like a pea in a can.
I feel like it came all too
soon and went away just as fast,
I wanted it to work, but I
took the loss like a man.
Still, she wasn't my first
love, but she'll surely be my last.
The Reality of a Fantasy
We were wrapped up in the
dreams and the fantasy,
Sometimes I felt so
impatient I could bounce off the walls!
We had embarked on a new
adventure; 'New Love' it seemed to me.
All my loneliness was
averted by her anticipated calls!
We talked our talk of plans,
schemes and dreams,
Hours and hours passed and
still we talked on.
We'd talk all that love talk
to extremes,it seems,
It was a happy, fulfilling
path we both walked on.
Then finally came the day
we'd be together forever,
The heady adrenalin coarse through every vein!
I'll have her bodily in my
arms, the sooner the better!
We the attempted to create
love with a gallant campaign.
Then the reality set in; new
love was hard for two old friends.
Yet we both wanted it to
work.
Still the differences and
unpleasantness contends,
The doubt of success began
to lurk.
It began with a bang and
ended with a whimper.
The cold facts knocked us
both for a loop.
It was turning out bad for
me and her.
The time came to step back
and regroup.
Now my friend is gone, still
not ever really my lover,
And my old heart feels so
damn cheated!
I think I prefer the
fantasy over the other;
Dreaming a dream that is
never completed.
Heart Lingers
I knew she was slipping
through my fingers,
And I knew I had to let her
go.
Still that love emotion
lingers,
But I won't let my true
feelings show.
Oh,how I wanted things to go
right,
But, with a sigh I
relinquished my dream.
Lingering feelings fill up
the night,
And failure seems to be the
theme.
The feelings linger week
after week,
I wonder when the pain will
end.
I achingly wait for the
sadness to peak,
Missing my lover and my
friend.
When talking as friends we
ponder the collapse,
Was it the timing or the
conditions ?
The split-up lingers in our
minds perhaps
leaving fear of failure
unmentioned.
Should We try to repair this
as a mistake?
My mind lingers on the
thought.
What emotional repairs could
I make?
Who's right,who's wrong, who
should claim the fault?
I should just move on and so
should she,
We both would be doing the
right thing.
Still, ideas linger in my
heart(where she toughed me),
Of what if anything the
future might bring.
To Kiss You
I guess I'll
never be able to dismiss you,
Or the good and bad we've been through.
I know how it feels now to miss you,
I'll never forget how it felt to kiss you.
Would I ever do it again?
I'd do it all over again, my friend.
For all of it, my heart may never mend,
But, I would love just to kiss you again.
Because of it all I felt so alive.
My worn emotions began again to thrive!
In the end my ego took a hard dive.
Yet, on your kiss alone I could survive.
For through it all my old heart grew,
My hard-headedness
began to unscrew.
Even though it was releasing to be shed of you,
I'll never forget what I felt when I kissed you.
In my dreams I hear your voice
say,"Hay."
In my mind your touch will always stay.
I granted you luck when you went away,
Still, for your kiss I wish for one more day.
In my lonely bed at night the cold air nips.
My new emotions damaged, broken and rips.
My mind runs over again our life's movie clips.
And I sigh as I envision just kissing your lips.
Severed Connections
Now my cell phone is an
empty thing,
I remember the love it used to
bring,
Now it seems to never ring.
I look at the phone as it
lays there dead,
And memories of those long
hours rush through my head,
But the still cell phone has
conveyed all that needs said.
It was my connection to her;
that old flip phone,
Even knowing better I listen
for her ring tone,
But it lays there
indifferent and still as a stone.
Silent, for her interests
had eventually changed,
Now our lives are different
and totally rearranged,
Those needy exchanges now
broken and estranged.
The lonely hours craw with
the silence and that's bad,
Missing the long hours we
shared on the cell and that's sad,
Now from my mind I push the
dead dreams that I had.
Just glancing at the cellie
brings memories astir,
I expect no more happiness
from it to occur,
Wait! A text is coming in,
maybe it's her!
But it's a friend asking if
I'm working today,
Its another small let down I
must keep at bay,
How I wish this lost hope
would just go away!
END
